Kerrang 2004-12 – The Truth is Out There

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This transcription may be inaccurate as we have not seen an original copy.


Haring hole on Camden's Chalk Farm Road which was graciously opened especially for the occasion. Back in blighty after a short touring stint in the US, a passer by glancing inside on this bright but brisk November afternoon would hardly suspect by their demeanour, that Messrs Bellamy, Wolstenholme and Howard were soon to play the biggest headline shows of their career at London's 20,000-capacity Earl's Court Exhibition Centre. Before lunch arrives, though, the three settle for the task at hand, which is asking each other some fiendish questions. These questions may have been carefully crafted by a top psychologist and designed to skilfully unravel the very hearts and souls of Matt, Dom and Chris. Or then again, they may have been bashed out in haste at the last minute by this very magazine.
Dom and Chris remain relaxed, yet Matt is suddenly chopping at the bit and has to be verbally restrained from dipping into his 'glass of truth'. "Who wrote these questions?" Matt demands. "Ah, who cares ." He finally shrugs, before any answers are offered. "Who's first?"
It's you sir.

Chris: "Matt, Have you ever rejected a song for being too over the top?"
Matt: "(Laughs) No. Never for that reason, no. I still don't think we're even touching on the beginning of anything close to what has been done in the past in terms of what is regarded over the top."

Matt: "If I left the band and you could choose anybody in history to replace me, who would you have?"
Dom: "Jimi Hendrix. Well, he's Matt's favourite guitarist, I think. And mine. Plus, he'll fit into the three-piece vibe. It'd work."

Dom: "Have you ever spied me doing anything embarrassing, yet spared my blushes by not telling me?"
Matt: "Hmmm, Good question. I'm sure there's something. Hmmm."
Dom: "You saw me getting laid once."
Matt: "That's true, actually: I came in a room once and filmed him with a night vision camera. Ah, I know - I saw him putting on moisturiser once."

Chris: "What would you say, If I said I'd invented a Kiss-style image and I wanted to incorporate it onstage?"
Matt: "I'd say, it was about fucking time! (Laughs)About time we took it to the next level, I'd say. I've been waiting for one of these two to come up with something; I'd be very happy, yeah. But, I know these two probably wouldn't go there."
Chris: "I think I'd probably go there, but I don't know about Kiss."

Matt: "What do you think of me getting all the attention and adulation?"
Matt: "I don't get it all! Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks." (Discards question, chooses new one.)

Matt: "If I wanted to record a solo album, how concerned would you be?"
Chris: "If I could play bass on it, it'd be alright (Laughs)."

Dom: "Which one of us needs to see a shrink and why?"
Matt: "I think we've all got hidden agendas. I've never seen one, even though my girlfriend is one. Well, not yet professionally, but she probably will be."

Matt: "If you had to select a fancy dress outfit for me, would you choose batman, superman or wonder woman?"
Chris: "Batman."
Matt: "That's dark. I'm not a dark person, I'm the sunshine of your life."
Dom: "Well, I'd say Wonder Woman."
Matt: "That's how he'd want to see me. Ever since I saw him bend over to get an injection in his bum, there's been a strange energy between us (laughs). There's definitely suspicion."

Dom: "What do you get sick of me moaning on about?"
Matt: "Me being late."
Chris: "Turning the hi-hats up. Silly little things on the drums."
Matt: "Actually, he doesn't really moan much, does he?"
Dom: "Really? I thought I was a moaner."

Chris: "Who's the worst fighter?"
Matt: "If you're small like me, you've got to do other things. If you don't have the physical strength, you've got to use weapons. It's not that I fight like a girl, it's just that I'll use whatever object is at hand."
Dom: "I actually think I'm the worst. I smacked one guy in the face once and I thought I looked really hard, and he just turned around, looked at me, and squashed me on the floor in one go. It was quite embarrassing. So, yeah, it's most likely I'd lose, but I'd go down with my teeth in someone's leg."

Matt: "What do you think of my dress sense?"
Dom: "(Laughs) Pretty sharp these days. As opposed to... shiny pants and glitter shirts."
Matt: "Make-up, shiny trousers. Those were the good ol' days. I miss all that."

Dom: "What's the worst thing about sharing a tour bus with me?"
Matt: "All your faffing around. His electric toothbrush and mouthwash just winds me up. It's just annoying. For one, it reminds me how unclean I am."

Chris: "If a spacecraft landed in front of us and a hatch opened up - which of us would be mad enough to go onboard?"
Dom: "I'd be in there."
Chris: "I'd want to see the beings first."
Matt: "I wouldn't go on my own, if I knew we were all going on, I'd be happy to go first."

Matt: "Do you think I'm a good looking bloke?"
Matt: "That's ridiculous, I can't ask a question like that." (Discards question and chooses new one.)

Matt: "Do you two get recognised much when you're out shopping?"
Dom: "All the time - they think I'm Matt!"
Matt: "Really?"
Dom: "I actually did get recognised a couple of days ago at HMV in Islington."
Chris: "I got recognised in Co - Op once. I had to sign a little receipt."

Chris: "What's my most annoying habit?"
Matt: "Farting. I can recognise you by your farts by both smell and volume."
Dom: "If I'm in a hotel room, like two floors above him, I can hear him. I'm like, 'Jesus'. He's loud."

Matt: "If I had a hygiene problem, would you tell me?"
Dom: "I tell you every day (laughs). Get in the shower. Brush your teeth."
Matt: "That is true, that is true."

Dom: "Which of us has the best home movie collection?"
Matt: "Chris. He's got all the Bond films."
Chris: "On video and DVD. I try to buy about five DVDs a week."

Chris: "What's the worst thing about being in Muse?"
Matt: "..."
Chris: "..."
Dom: "..."
Matt: "Our legal bills. The business side. It's complicated. I wouldn't wish it on anybody."

Matt: "Is there any song you hate, or used to hate, playing live?"
Dom: "Er, no."
Chris: "I used to be uncomfortable with 'Blackout', because I never used to play keyboards until that song. They made me learn and I wasn't really a natural player. I was a bit on edge to start with, but I can play it a lot easier now."
Matt: "For me it would be a song called 'Cave'. It was on the first album, but it's probably the oldest song of anything we ever did. It was a combination of, one, it was old; and two, it had this vocal bit that had a note I had to hold for so long. It was way too long. You get the odd person still call out for it. Hardcore."

Chris: "Who's the biggest bitch?"
Dom: "Matt's the biggest and we're his bitches."

Dom: "If a venomous snake bit my arse, would you suck the poison out?"
Matt: "I'd be more than happy to. I have got medical training - I did a first-aid course. I can do resuscitation, mouth-to-mouth, all that kind of thing. If you cut an artery open, I could stop the bleeding; tie a belt around the groin, fucking do it tight and stand on it, and go, 'SHUT UP!'. Did you know when you see all that thumping of the chest stuff in films, that you can't actually bring somebody back to life by doing that? All you can do is keep them alive until someone turns up with an electrode. You're basically pumping the blood around the body to keep them alive; that's all you're doing. Drowning's a different matter, if someone's got loads of water inside their mouth, you can just blow inside their lungs and maybe they'll be able to cough and splutter it back out again. But, yeah, the venom; I'm not that advanced, but I'd give it a go."
Dom: "How about if it bit me on my knob?"
Matt: "Then I'd let you die."

Chris: "Who's the tightest bastard?"
Matt: "Dom. Although it depends what you mean (laughs). Let me think.
Erm... I think we're all pretty goddamn good with cash, to be honest. We're all pretty generous. And, yeah, we do charity work. But, we don't like to talk about it. We usually just give hard cash to Oxfam and that's it. We don't go around going (adopts goofy voice), 'Ooh, look at me'. The Bible says if you sing about it, you don't get recognition for it. So, I've just sung about it and blown it all (laughs)."

Dom: "Who's the best sportsman?"
Matt: "Chris."
Chris: "Years ago I might have accepted that, but these days I fall over and break my wrist while playing football on concrete; so I can't be that good."

Chris: "If I developed superpowers, would I use them for good or evil?"
Matt: "A bit of both."
Dom: "I think you'd probably take the piss."

Matt: "Am I in touch with my feminine side?"
Matt: "This actually isn't my question, I nicked it out of Dom's glass."
Dom: "In touch with your feminine side? Er. Yes and no. Actually, I mean, yes, but at the same time... no (laughs)."
Matt: "Why, what do you mean?"
Dom: "Well, yeah you are, because you wear women's clothes."
Matt: "Do I?"
Dom: "Yet, when I've tried to kiss you, you don't like it."

Having been friends for 10 years, the three members of Muse know one another inside out.
Or they thought they did until they faced our latest fiendish interrogation technique...

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